Welcome, Newgrounders, today I would to tell you a story about a rare race of human called Guidos.

Today at school, as soon as I got off the bus, I was walking along the sidewalk, minding my own business, when all of a sudden, I caught a whiff of Abercrombie in the air. Before I even had time to react, a guidos was shouting in my ear to his friend Vinny about the football game last night. I glanced over and couldn't even see him because his collar was popped past his ear. Then, a barrage of incoherent phrases escaped his mouth. I could only make out "dick" and "football". As he then promptly ran past me, his overpowering cologne went straight for my eyes, immediately causing me to go blind. I then stumbled back into a crowd of girls who toppled over each other. Trying to regain their balance they grabbed each other's shirts, the paper thin spaghetti straps ripped like nothing, and they were exposed, a kid crossing the street saw this glorious sight and stopped dead, a car veered out of his way and collided into other cars, causing a 23 car pile-up. After all the people crawled out of thier cars, then the cars immediately started exploding, then the Fire Department was called and the entire school was evacuated due to the fact that the explosions weakened the structural integrity of the building. Then, Pikachu flew down on a dragon and started beating the shit out of everyone, then the A-Team came and declared everyone a terrorist and blew the shit out of us. So, I am writing you this story from the hospital, and I hope you learned something from this.